| There is no clear borderline between the sexual and nonsexual
enjoyment of touching someone else's body. For example, holding hands may
or may not have a sexual connotation, depending on culture, situation and
other factors. Although the most common form of heterosexual sexual intercourse
is universally regarded as sexual contact, there is a wide range of other
sexual behaviors that may or may not be socially, legally, or ethically
considered as sexual relations. The distinction between the sexual and
the nonsexual becomes relevant in judging appropriate behavior, in either
a social setting or in the eyes of the law.
Some criteria that may be applied are:
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the body parts involved (see also intimate parts)
-
physical signs of sexual arousal
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subjective feeling
Enjoying touching someone else's body implies enjoying one's own body also;
the latter may also happen without another person; enjoying one's own body
also may or may not be of a sexual nature. If it is, it is called autoeroticism.
The whole of one's sexual activities (including erotic dreams and waking
sexual fantasies and daydreams) is called one's sex life.
Desire and fantasy
Sexual desire or libido is the desire for sexual behavior. Most people
focus their sexual desire on someone that they have a sexual relationship
with, or would desire to have a sexual relationship with. See also sexual
arousal, sexual orientation.
Many people enjoy fantasizing about, or reading or viewing, or seeing
depictions of, sexual fantasies of activities that they do not wish to
engage in in their own lives, or that they would be unable to engage in
in their own lives; see pornography and erotica.
Sexual signals
The communication between people that can lead to a sexual liaison
are necessarily subtle and complex. An overt declaration, e.g. "I would
like to have sex with you" is more likely than not to be rebuffed. From
early childhood, strategies for successful communication are learned and
honed through practice. Much of this communication is nonverbal. By adulthood,
the subtleties of meeting the eyes of another, smiling, laughing and flirting
have been practiced and learned.
Successful communication
Once a person has taken advantage of opportunities to enter into communication
with a potential sex partner, then the likelihood and speed with which
that communication will lead to sexual intercourse depend on a combination
of cultural norms, the person's desire for a relationship, and the person's
skill at interpersonal communication. A successful communication is one
that goes two ways. Listening well, including picking up on non-verbal
cues, is a crucial skill. Active listening, in which the listener responds
to indicate understanding, is a direct route to successful communication.
The fear of rejection
The fear of rejection is common when trying to befriend a potential
partner. If the participants are both sensitive to the other's signals,
then they can detect quickly whether their sexual objectives are mutual.
If they discover soon enough that their objectives are at odds with one
another, then a conversation can end before either one loses face, and
then each person can seek others with whom to communicate. On the other
hand, if the communication results in an escalating sense of intimacy for
both participants, then a degree of trust is established that mitigates
the fear of rejection.
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